Upwards!

We’ve had a couple of small steps in the right direction! So it had been another whirlwind week of angst and depression, compounded by both hubby and I being extremely exhausted after a weekend of hosting international visitors (eight hour round trip to look at some rocks, anyone?). We had fought again, both reaching absolute breaking point. Me in particular quietly shouting some not-so-nice things at hubby (had to “quietly shout” due to the guests staying with us). Anyway, it left us feeling battered and unable to talk to each other without getting into another argument. Seriously, this is not our normal relationship.

We did work out that a lot of our problems do stem from the fact that we are tired – all the time. I should explain that we do already have a three years old toddler, who provides us with lots of fun, but he does make us tired. I’m sure all the parents out there understand! Anyway, given the ridiculousness of childcare place shortages around where we live, we currently have bubsy in one day of care (took us 18 months to get it – we have been on the waiting list for another two days for the past eight months) and three days and two nights of grandparents care. You would think that having him away from us for two nights would give us time to rest, but it totally doesn’t! We have to spend 1.5 hours travelling to drop him off and get to work and the same again when picking him up. The two nights apart means that we can never get into any sort of routine for the rest of time. I am permanently cranky!

Anyway, hubby’s sister has finally agreed to “help us however she can” by reducing her monopoly on the other grandparent’s care – I know, this is completely a first world issue that we have! So instead of getting no help from the other grandparent, we will now get one day. She lives much closer and this will mean that bubsy is only away for one night. This is going to lighten our hectic weekly schedule, which we are looking forward to!

More importantly, I got a phone call from the IVF centre today. They have told me that an earlier egg collection date has come up and asked if I’d like to take it. Hell, yeah! So instead of an eight week wait before our next egg collection, we will now have a six week wait. Seriously, this has lifted my spirits so much!

Counting down!

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Defeated

I am feeling terribly defeated this week. It’s been a tough few months and it all got worse last week. Last week I developed ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome after my egg collection surgery. I couldn’t sleep at night because it hurt so much and I spent my days moping about at work and trying not to vomit.

I also got a phone call from my IVF doctor three days after the egg collection. She never calls me directly unless there’s bad news. She called to tell me that of the 17 eggs they collected, only one developed into a healthy embryo. We can’t try to transfer that embryo into me yet, not until it’s been tested for Wolff Parkinson White syndrome. The doctor has advised against testing until we can collect more eggs and, hopefully, create a few more healthy embryos.

The worst of it all has been the past six months of my terrible mood swings. I’m not someone who swears, ever. In the past six months I’ve told hubby to f-off and that he’s a f-ing this and that multiple times. Last week he finally cracked it and said some not-so-nice things back to me. It was all behind closed doors – we had family from overseas staying with us at the same time.

My ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome went away and I was able to call the IVF clinic to arrange my next and third round of treatment. This time we have to wait eight weeks before we can do an egg collection.

Hubby and I are ok again now. But we are feeling utterly defeated.