Potty mouth f*****s and why IVF sucks

Monday’s drip feed of information over a few hours, via phone, while I was at work:

– 14 eggs collected confirmed

– 10 eggs fertilised – oooh, nice! …. Oh, wait….

– 1 embryo developed enough for biopsy

– You have to wait for another 10 days or so before we get the results from the biopsy

– Good luck

Well f*** that!

So let’s have a quick look at my stats:

– 5 egg collection surgeries (and 1 hysteroscopy)

– 67, that’s 67 (!!!), eggs collected

– 13 embryos

– 4 unaffected, with 1 tbc

– 4 miscarriages

Based on our statistical trend, it is more likely for this current embryo to be affected (and hence useless to us), and even if it is unaffected, based on our statistical trend, we would miscarry.

So why bother?

Better use of time and resources:

– I could have spend the past two years investing time into doing better at work, spending more quality time with bubsy (instead of being too tired from full-time work, too stressed and distracted from IVF and just too damn spaced out or spazzed out from the drugs) and doing fun things for and with my family.

– I could have put all that money spent towards a deposit for an investment property, renovating our bathroom (5 times over!) or our kitchen (at least twice), setting up a studio like I’ve always wanted, going on 3 monthly domestic holidays (like, luxury ones where you stay in places that replace the mini shampoo bottles daily), bought fancy clothes and shoes, gone out for lots of dinners or taken a huge chunk out of the mortgage.

Things I could have avoided:

– Multiple fights with hubby, which if bubsy is around, he gets super upset and starts crying (or occasionally tells us off for being too loud).

– Multiple meltdowns, where bubsy ends up being the one who comes and tries to comfort me.

– Bad skin.

– Avoided avoiding people when I’m at my worst drug induced state.

– Being constantly grumpy and scowly.

Our options:

– Abandon the idea of having a second child and move on with life.

– Try again.

– Switch doctors.

– Switch clinics.

– Try it the old fashioned way, test the embryo in me, abort if affected, keep if unaffected – our views on the ethics of this have yet to be thought through.

Our current decisions:

– To make no decisions for at least 3 months.

– Potentially not do anything further on this whole have a second child thing until next year.


3 thoughts on “Potty mouth f*****s and why IVF sucks

  1. I’m so sorry sweetie! I was in a similar boat, with 3 IVFs, I think 43 eggs retrieved, 24 mature, 14 fertilized, but only one decent blast out of the bunch – I would have been too scared to risk it not surviving the testing & thawing. Is there an option to just do the fresh transfer and skip the testing? I’m all for new clinics, especially if the previous one can’t seem to find the right answers. I wish you all the best. This is really f’n hard.


    • I wish it were that easy. We are only doing ivf as to screen out a condition. So no point in doing a transfer without a biopsy. And I imagine (just guessing here) thatthe biopsy lab test (that took them 6 months to develop) is owned by the clinic and not readily given up and handed over if we were to change clinics. It cost is a few thousand dollars to do too! I feel like we’re in a no win situation…

      Liked by 1 person

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