Three weeks until my next egg collection… assuming all goes well!
The past week has not been good. But let’s face it, I’ve been a bit of an emotional wreck since the last failed cycle. I had a mega meltdown on New Year’s Eve. The only positive to come out of it was that I decided that I would take time off from work until the next EC. Harder to do than said! I rang the clinic yesterday to see if I could get a medical certificate for the 12-27 January 2015. I went from reception to my doc’s admin to my PDG nurse, who gave me a referral for counselling and told me that I just needed to call my doc’s office to arrange the certificate. Turns out my doc is on leave until the 12th, so her receptionist couldn’t do much about it but to take note. Then I got a call from the counsellor and we had a chat on the phone – I was hoping that maybe she could arrange a certificate for me, but no. Probably too late to go to a GP to try to get one now, plus I don’t want to sit there explaining all the history to a stranger. At least all the people at the clinic can take one look at my file and go, “yes, three failed cycles and about to embark on a fourth cycle”.
I assume that my doc is more likely to give me medical certificate than not. And even if she doesn’t, I’ve got to take the time off. I’m going crazy. I’m so stressed, anxious and depressed already. I feel so negative about this fourth cycle. I feel like it’s going to fail, just because that’s what I’m used to. I already speculate about what I’ll do once they confirm that it’s failed. Although I never end up speculating for long as I just draw a blank – I have no idea what I would do. I think it’s one of those things that I just wouldn’t know about until I’m actually in the situation.
Anyway, so I think on Monday, when I’m back at work, I’ve just got to tell my boss that I’m due for surgery at the end of the month and need to take the preceding two weeks off. I mean, they can’t really say no it. But then it will be a matter of getting a medical certificate to deal with HR. I feel like it’s the first time I’ve made a decision where I place my well-being first, but now I’m faced with all these road blocks in trying to get there.
Aside from that, I’ve got all my gear ready to go. Doc has changed up my drugs this time, so I’ve got this new one that I have no idea on how to administer. The pharmacist did try to explain it to me (something about mixing up the solutions, getting fresh syringes, measuring out the dosage manually…), but I’m going to have to go in to see a nurse to get a bit of a demonstration.
The wait continues….